Declare Your Dream

INSPIRATIONAL ESSAY – We know life doesn’t always go as planned or desired. But with a declaration of what you really want, the path to your ultimate destination just might be paved with a lifetime journey of personal joy. —

Dad in his happy place.

My father was an artist.

All his life was devoted to creating fine art. An art graduate, he was also a lifelong student devoted to studying historic and contemporary masters of painting. Detailed sketches and oil paintings showcased his talents best. The coastline of New England was his favorite subject, specifically Cape Ann, Massachusetts, where he was born, raised and died.

By day his 9 to 5 “professional” job was as a technical illustrator for a prestigious Boston institution, a position he kept for most of his working life.  But every chance he got, he painted.

On weekends and evenings, seated by his easel in the hideaway attic studio, he was surrounded by stacks of unfinished works and a swirl of cigarette smoke. Classical music crackled on the radio. Heady odors of turpentine and Ivory soap hung in the air. The tiny corner of an otherwise chaotic house full of children was his happy respite.

Sometimes he began with a rough sketch of a schooner or rolling waves gleamed from a few grainy Polaroids. He perched on the rocks against an angry ocean to capture the essence of his muse.  Often his paintings included a tiny silhouette of man fishing on the rocks or at the helm of a boat.

Super-critical of his own work, he was personally responsible for sabotaging a potential career as the full-time artist of his dreams. Occasionally a painting of his sold, but only because my mother “pimped out his work.” (His words.)

His artistic abilities emerged early in life. As a young boy his talent earned him many awards and the recognition that sparked his journey to become a famous artist. It continued in high school when his dream to draw for Walt Disney in California took flight. He had the desire and he certainly possessed the ability. But it was not to be.

Growing up, I saw my father as a man without the confidence and true passion to go the distance and make his dream real. Perhaps had he declared himself an artist, which he never did, his mindset might have shifted. And made choices more in line with his dream.

However, as I got older (and wiser) I understood the obstacles he placed in his way. Legitimate reasons and excuses for not sowing the seeds to allow his dream the chance to grow. The list is lengthy and noble. For an honorable man with responsibilities as a husband, father, son and brother, he put himself last. Always.

He told me once that it takes a certain selfishness to become the person you know you are suppose to be.

Painting became his hobby for life. Not a bad thing. The process to put paint to canvas and create something out of nothing brought him personal pleasure. Still, well into his 80s, he spoke about the elusive Disney dream. In his eyes was the glint of a missed opportunity.

I’d always wondered if he hadn’t been so afraid to take the chance, make the move, and accept the offer to taste his dream, what might he had accomplished.

Carl Jung once said: “Nothing has a stronger influence on a child than the unlived life of a parent.”

I often blame and praise my father equally for my stumbling as a writer. He threw down roadblocks when I wrote on subjects he didn’t like. It was the 70s, and well, it was the 70s. His criticism, that I highly respected, stopped me from going forward with my dream for so many years.

And although my father didn’t fulfill his dream to draw for Disney, I thank him for showing a lifelong passion for his craft that clearly brought him a lifetime of great joy.

In the end it doesn’t matter whether you win some prize, award or recognition that you think will bring ultimate success. Declare your dream and just enjoy the journey.

I am a writer.

#declareyourdream

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