The mathematics of how you’ve already won a humungous lottery — BE F.A.T.
To a biblical purist and my mother the correct answer is Sperm, “because God said so.” These were her exhaustive final words to my many inquiries about sex.
Google Ask a Biologist and you’ll find all sorts of technical answers and proposed theories of single cells and asexual reproduction.
I am not a scientist.
But thanks to my colorful poster on the female reproductive system, I did pass General Health in high school.
Our male teacher, who also taught gym, used my poster as a visual aid to illustrate, scientifically, how human beings are unique.
He did this standing in front of the class wearing gray sweatpants, Commando style. “You need some sperms to make a special person,” he said to me as he tapped the wood pointer at the big fat egg. When the giggles subsided: “If you have any questions, ask your parents.”
So I did.
My mother, ever the progressive parent of the 70s, cornered me in the hallway and shoved a book wrapped in brown paper into my chest. Her eyes darted side to side, and in a Deep Throat whisper told me that if I had any questions I should make an appointment with the school nurse. “Just know that you are special,” she said.
We never talked about sex again until after I married and got pregnant. “I thought I taught you better than that,” she said as a welcome to her first grandchild. “But he or she will be very special.”
The point is: Every human being on this planet matters, including you, regardless of what anyone tells you.
Don’t think you are unique?
The combinations of your parents doing the nasty could have resulted in 70,368,744,177,644 (70 trillion) possible human beings. Any one of those potential children could have been taller, thinner, smarter, prettier, richer or more successful than you. And yet they welcomed you.
In comparison, the odds of winning a lottery jackpot are approximately one in 175,000,000 (175 million). That’s peanuts.
You on this planet: One in 70 trillion! You are one fucking awesome jackpot winner.
Stop wishing for millions of dollars or someone else’s life. Even with all your self-doubts and neurotic tendencies, that muffin top you can’t lose, and crappy job situation, you are one seriously lucky human.
Of the trillions of possible combinations that might have been, those potential human beings might have wished to be YOU. But that did not happen. You happened. And you are special. My mother said so.
#BFAT (Be F–g Awesome Today)
#FYA (Find Your Awesome)
Note: Moving #BFAT to BE F.A.T. New website specific to the message. COMING SOON!